Watch “Casting Crowns – Nobody (Official Music Video) ft. Matthew West” on YouTube

Am just a nobody

Trynna tell everybody

All about somebody

Who saved my soul

Ever since you rescued me

You gave my soul a song to sing

Am living for the world to see

Nobody but Jesus……

PEPA.

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FRIDAY: Sketches of conformation.

It’s Friday

Morning is passed all rushed from Monday

Day ran so fast like it knew the anxiety

The frustrations and realizations borne.

An anxiety that at point in time grew into resignation

Quite a familiar path of abrasion

That almost leads to aberration if not utmost desperation.

Non of that turmoil however counts for now

But as humans we have let this moment thaw

Thaw away all hope that once rooted a show

A show of faith and delight in perseverance

For humanity or rather still humans do away draw

Draw from the path of trust and rust into the hands of the foe

The foe’s hands always wide open

Open with an hunger quite insatiable

Almost hard to pen and quite insane.

So it is Friday as we cross the cross-end

More like a cross-road of self awareness

A loss to self and dive into another

We look so fearless in a grip of oblivion

If only this facade could unveil our true person

And give us to the realms of God’s embrace

In total surrender would we render us to His beautiful face.

Don’t let the cross-road of self destruction bar you

Don’t let the pull of utter regression bore you

Don’t let the sail of common perception define you.

Let His grace always lead you.

PePa

GOODNIGHT:-Sketches of surrender.

Reflecting on it now

Nights like this are the best

Not like am in a haste

To even try and predict how

How my tomorrow will taste

Just thanking God for the day past

And closing my eyes in total surrender

That I know not what tomorrow may bring

Not that I may even in it sing

So sing I do now in praise

Praise to the Almighty for His grace

Grace and mercies that He assures to renew tomorrow

What if I woke up in a different city

City where no one was all gritty

Gritty because your presence was kinda edgy

Edgy for it ain’t common place to just let go

Let go and let God lead you in paths only He knew where it led

Led to cuz even this day was all His will.

Still I long to just close my eyes

And let go of all sighs

As I do right within this moment

It total acceptance to His will.

Goodnight:;;;—–PePa.

LIVE AND LOVE: Sketches of demise.

It’s all but a gift

Almost comes like a shift

Every second so precious

Every moment so concise

This life that we live

It’s all you do in the moment

That adds up to the quotient

And all you touch to be content

This life that we live

Live it like it’s borrowed

Forgetting about all sorrows

For sorrows depict the burden of tomorrow

Borrowed into the energy of today

Sipping it all out in a sway

And that my friend you can’t harrow.

This life that we live

Always smile in a file

Like it all adds up in a bulk

Bulk your joy like the hulk

Share it out every while

And give a hand with a smile

This life that we live

Let another feel your love

Through the little that you have

Let them sing when you are gone

Always remembering that you gave

For when you give you never crave

This life that we live

PePa

COMBINE HARVESTER: Sketches of thrill and neglect.

The chase is beautiful,almost breathtakingly sweat-breaking.The adrenaline and rush of blood is almost intoxicating.Just like the lion sees a prey,plots a chase and implements it so are we.When the chase proves tough we encourage ourselves that what is worth the chase is sure worth the wait .Just like a chess game with the queen upon the heel of all the pawns are we in this chase.We will do anything to topple off the rooks,slender bishops and mighty castles in a never ending game of thrones.The pawns in our wake are collateral damage even if they belonged to us.The sweat broods and true to human nature even this is no detractor to our chase progress.Rather it is the very fuel to our never ending quest to win this board play and be termed if not crowned leader of our crop.The burner of our mantle most often sounds more of a worthy title.

In process of this lion chase of the deer down across the plane,the mind is devoid of the fact that the deer is faster but what is the pleasure in chasing something that is so easy to catch?

Haha,reminds me of hunger games,set the pray and orchestrate the chase for the thrill of blood.Such a sad scenario as we are even encouraged that may the force favour us.

Beautiful words to mar the obscenities and atrocities inhibited or hidden behind the actual intentions of our human games.Well,not to rush ahead of my thoughts,the chase is fun and enjoyable,almost electric.Jeez,thought of same makes my blood rush in a jolt of heat and excitement.

But just before it ends,my mind is panned with a question even I must stop and ponder,in process almost letting my prey escape;if only escape was its fate?Is the catch worth the chase?Or maybe you got a quick yes to this quiz PePa buddy,I could give it a lil twist to your cryptic sleeves and ask,”Is the chase worth the keep?”

Mmh,sure you never thought of that right?evades my hinges too most often if not.

Just like a combine wheat harvester that will both reap the wheat and mill it,are you able to chase the prey and enjoy keeping it?Don’t go on a wild goose chase if the end of it all is the thrill of blood that can’t be satisfied but has to be done over and over to maintain the lithium junk phase.PePa.

My awoken sleep: sketches into the night.

I hear the sirens

I hear the hoots

I hear the far ends

I feel them trot

Motorbike honks

Trailers throts

A dog barks far away

A cat miaows in the hay

Misplaced along the horse’s stray

The noises don’t ease into the night

Just light that fades from within my sight

As fatigue eases out my heart’s plight

Sleep takes over without a fight

As I ease into my slump of midnight’s slumber

A scream jerks me up half drift into my amber

My heart races as I whisper a prayer

The honks and throts vague it out in shear

As I hope and pray the night from the hands of the slayer

The track wheels pound upon the tarmac

With an overweight of load upon the track

Am sure by morning they will leave a mark

Of the pressure and strain that leave behind pain

Deep within the pockets of the ailing tax payer

The same noises of trucks,motorcycles,barking dogs and miaowing cats

Become the lalluby to my insomniac bat

So I resign to fate as nature has made it common

To put up an act and hide the head

Under barrels of sand and leave the body to fade.

BEHIND SILENT WHISPERS:the sketches of God’s love.

She got him through a C-section,always shortened from that dreadful name called caeserian to mean incision of the abdominal and uterine walls for baby delivery.

She had no option but to go through with it.Funds did not allow but still baby had to come out safe,I mean there were two humans here at risk,both the mother and the unborn baby.Who would want to bear a child,and let them grow up being called a curse as they killed there own mother at birth?

For questions sake I would have asked where the father of the yet to be born child was at the time.In this age however most of that parenting and presence has kind of lost its entire sense.But for all goodness’ sake who am I even to point fingers? A cloud at righteousness you know?Or to easen it,sometimes you can find the pot calling the kettle black…

But the pot gains beauty the moment the kettle loses its sense of warmth,as the pot can keep the food warmer over a longer period in comparison…

Beauty to this continuation is that instead of me shading the judgemental finger,I have realistic PePa faithfuls like you to throw the dice and watch the topple,right?

A beautiful baby boy comes forth into a cruel world.Initially however,he is received with the lying smiles and laughs of joy and as he stretches open his hands,he is ready to receive all beauty from the world:that in my opinion should be the rule of thumb but hey,the coldness he receives as most of us have is more than his tender soft skin can take…non of our’s has taken it either,not to date as we claim to “ng’ang’ana” (hustle/struggle) to make life flow smoothly.

Let us talk of baby daddy first,now where did his pretty a@# go to?Ahem,let me rephrase,where is he all this time we mentioning mama bear and baby bear?

Daddy bear took to his heels the moment he tasted the honey pot,honey comb broke and his initial promise of marriage I guess with it.So here we are left with mama bear picking up the dripping honey from the forest floor on her own.

What about the army bees you might ask?They as every other one of us did not fight for their queen as common rule states but stood on the alleys and sidewalks.Doing what you might ask?They were busy buzzing obscenities and accusations directed towards queen bee,telling her of her faults and the mistake she made in exposing their honey to the outsiders.

Anyway,we can’t cry over spilt milk or honey for that matter now,can we?The gift is born into the world and suckles very well growing into a strong little man.Man is quite intentional as this he does not attain as per normal expectation.

He grows quite well but at the age of two still no mutterings of mama or papa are heard from him.Now this could be exempted but on the other hand he is not learning to use the potty as expected by the age of four.Quite unprecedented this could be by human standards.

But who came up with these standards I ask.Again remember the buzzing bees along the sidewalks and alleys?I came to realise they dictate so much in society as most of us heed to their buzzes .You might ask how but check for a moment what social media platforms are putting as standards…Facebook,Instagram,Twitter and many more I lose count of…

Who dictates this on social media again?Should be the bumble and buzzing bees I guess.

Hope we on the same drift by now huh?Little Gift is now 6 years old and knows not how to use the toilet,that could be excused for loose bowels and a defect in his digestion but why can’t he talk or hear?This must be a curse,right?Maybe a misfit in society,I think maybe even the father was another man’s husband and the child has been cursed,right?

But what of the many other children born out of wedlock or say by other women’s husbands?We can’t see these you know?We are blind to the world around us and that judgemental finger plays quite well at this point.This is an isolated case you might quip.

Mama bear,Neline that is,has not been asked for her opinion on her baby’s state of affairs by now I guess.No one knows and in most cases even cares what she feels about it.Her strength and determination on the other hand is admirable…quite resilient in my opinion…humble I may add.

Gift is taken to school by Neline,mama bear just like other kids.He learns not much as he can’t talk neither can he hear,to add pepper to a bleeding wound,he hasn’t learnt to use the toilet by now,thank God for introduction of all size diapers.Modernisation has its benefits I must add.Let us say glory to God always for little indulgences like diapers,right?

Beauty to all this scenario(could look like madness to others),she talks to him daily and he smiles and walks away,in her mind she is hearing but just can’t respond.

Just like every dark and blinding grey sky has a silver lining,something strange and most unexpected happens.A friend,Tina,asks Neline about Gift,if he hears or not.Mama bear says she thinks he hears but just can’t respond.Call her an optimist but what do you expect from a loving mother to her only child?Tina goes ahead and suggests an experiment with Gift to know and find out about this.

Tina tells Neline,mama bear that is,to call his son from behind and see if he responds.She does that and there is no response,next she tries with dropping a spoon behind him,he turns not till mama bear taps him on the shoulder,the smile on his face however is undeniable.This hence has to be tested medically as it is now evident that he doesn’t hear.

You are sure wondering how gift is fairing in school huh?Truth is that just like any different person among us in society,he is treated differently,almost like a cripple,ridiculed by other children at most oft times.

But what did you expect from a society that refuses to bring up our young with love and a training in the fear of God?Where the house helps are our children’s guides all through even over the weekends when we need to chat away on our phones?To avoid disturbance from their noises we even get them mobile phones and games to keep them distracted,such a privileged and elite society we are,right?

Well,that was the peril that led Neline,mama bear to sob in private behind closed doors,away from Gift.She wouldn’t want him to feel like the cause of mama’s pain and sorrows.So she hid away,cried and prayed to the only God she knew,in all this time He seemed not to be hearing her.I mean,she wouldn’t be sobbing if He,God that is,heard,save for tears of joy,right?

Remember that pic of a Lion and his cub,the caption on it says,”I thought about quitting till I noticed who was watching,” that right there was mama bear,Neline and her little cub,Gift.She would never show him she was weak and defeated.

She spoke blessings into her son everyday and told him he would be the best God wanted him to be.That nothing would stop him from achieving his dreams no matter what.Gift always smiled at her as if he heard and left for school gleefully.But when he came back later on or mama bear went to pick her,he never seemed happy.

Takes me back to this afternoon she goes to school to pick him and finds him in a mess of himself;no shorts on as he couldn’t hold himself,he was naked with only his shirt on and a naked butt.All the other kids were laughing at him.

She had a scarf around her neck that came in quite handy.Wrapped her little cub with it and took him home.Closed the door behind her and cried.This in my opinion was the turning point of her life.

She cried in earnest to God and next took little cub,Gift, to hospital for further ENT tests.Unbeknownst to her,Gift’s condition was curable.A surgery was emminent and corrective removal of the accumulating fluid between his nose and ear would be possible.This apparently was the reason he could neither hear nor talk.

She asked about the cost for the same and was shocked at the figures.Business had been low,she had even moved in with her sisters to cut on costs so this was a blow…But no cost was too much compared to the joy hearing her son’s voice would be back and he would be able to call her “Mama”.

Procedure took in the most 45minutes.Mama bear was called.Hands clasping her head in fear she walks into theatre but what she meets is unexpected.A frightened and crying Gift seated on the hospital bed (he was frightened by the many people surrounding him with mama not nearby).

You know what?The surgery was successful and at 6 years old,Gift had to start learning to talk like a toddler would.This in essence sent tears to Mama bear’s eyes.Such news was overwhelming.A miracle in itself.

The curse was no longer a curse and the little unnoticeable cub,Gift would be the source of so much joy to her mama.The tears of sorrow are soon replaced with those of joy as a friend calls her,comes picks her from Gertrude hospital as she din’t have even fare back.

The Monday next,Neline receives a letter from Gift’s school that they can’t accommodate his son’s kind anymore.He had become a burden to them by now and the other kids at school were always uncomfortable around him.

Did they hear her side of the story?No,did they care to listen?No,not at all.

As Neline is narrating this events to her sister,she comes out as an angel and calms down her heart.Tells her not to worry as everything would be alright.Neline leaves her sister’s place and true to the words of her sister;a school she had never known existed is right down the corner.They ask for an interview and Neline tells them her son just began talking after six years and knows nothing.

There answer is another miracle.”Bring him in as he is,we will work at his pace,”

You need another miracle on the mountain Neline?God just spoke to you face to face.

What can PePa add,nothing but lies.

To God be the glory always.

PePa.

Sketches of broken love.

I could write a tale where you and I stare into each other

But it could be flawed without going any further

How about a tale where you and I love each other?

But we could be in trouble if it were found by father

So I will tell a tale not marred by beauty

Neither one that looks so pretty

As pretty and beauty sure seem laughable

When in all serenity it should be agreeable

I lose all sense as I strive to find reality

As it all seems masked in futility

A future that could all but play in adversity

Adversity so brought upon my head through ambiguity

Its ambiguity makes me lose all track and flow

A flow that would hence poise my glow

In the direction and core relation of my tale

A tale to tell hence deals me a blow

Right below the belt as tension rises within and grows

So please don’t go as this thoughts form

And I find the right course to home

Home where the heart sure finds rest

Rest and peace that could only manifest

Manifest in within your chest and towards me crest.

PePa.