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WHAT IS YOUR STORY? Sketches of growth.

They said as I started typing to share my story.So I ask me,what story should I share that is I have any?Quite an important question as I asked myself a rapid one with my eyes dimming into slumber last evening,”So what is your story?”

So here I type away as the same question comes flowing into perspective,”What is my story? And what is your story? What lies behind all the glamour and flair you wrap around your walk and glow?

A famous song done by Mary Mary used to rhyme as,”It’s the God in me,It’s the God in me!”Quite a catchy rhyme and hum this was,still is and will be in the coming many blessed years God will shine on me or even you.

Every glow and glamour must have a story I believe,every sad grouchy and drooping face has a tale behind it.I once read a writer rhetoric that the man who walked to his front desk held a face that told a tale of the blows life had dealt him over his span of life.Quite cryptic that was and that image stuck glued to my mind.

So I find myself here tapping away letters into my blog as I ask myself over and over,”What is my story?”

My story is broad,my story is not one plastered with hipe and pomp,no,not even with a little silver lining to the grey clouds marauding above my once gloomy head,no!

I have read of rags to riches tales,and yes I love them.How poor Jack suddenly is approached at the corner of the street with his head between his knees and arms stretched out begging for alms from so would be ever so caring change owners.This stranger leans down towards Jack’s crouched head and whispers a few words into his keen ears.He then unexpectedly jerks up and looks all beamed up and jolly asking,”Are you sure?You for real on this sir?”

Next thing we hear is Jack is on Tv holding a big dummy cheque written several millions upon.This for your information will only be known by a few individuals who ever knew Jack as he was used as a front image to a bigger Shinda mamilioni (Win millions) scam! Next is an unknown story of Jack who then disappears from the phase of the streets.Never to be heard from again.

This my friends is what I think Englishmen called luck?Am not sure if that word really holds meaning though I gave up on the same the first few times I tried my hand in lottos back in the 90’s.I never won any of those.I tried betting on world cup games in the next coming years and that my dear PePa reader was the last time I ever tried my “luck” in anything.

After that I resolved to hard work and forging forward trusting God to bring the best out of every little thing I did.I knew I had little or nothing but hope,faith and trust.I knew that no matter what the world threw at me I would overcome it for the one who held me was stronger than every force of the universe combined together against me.

I recall for example when I first joined High School in the early 2000’s.This was me seated in an auditorium of 50 students;multiply that by 5 and having been the best in a class of 28 in my lower school this would sure have cowered me out my wits.Sweaty palms and an urge to be the best I had to make all things work together for my good.This called for more than just many nights of book-worming and sleepless ones at that.Something had to give and here it was nothing but my pride.

Reminds me of an earlier post I had done about my early school years called ,”THE DEATH OF A HUNTER:sketches of an onlooker” find it here for more.

Anyway,laying down my pride meant I had to admit that I couldn’t manage this vast expanse of education and growth on my own.That I needed better,wiser and deeper help,that multi-choice answers or higher cramming capacity(I was never good at this either) would not go far enough in helping me make it.

I needed more,I needed grace;a grace that had been my portion ever from the beginning of time and only called for me to tap into it(Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: …. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: … )

So I realised I needed to seek God first and seek His righteousness,lean on Him and He would work on me as required,that He would in time produce the best that He wanted out of me.

So coming from what everyone calls a humble background I had to be humble indeed;but what is humility in essence?Is humility equated to lack and pride to having much?Eludes my mind as I tend to dispute this school of reason.True humility lies in a heart willing to love,learn and appreciate.Such is true humility.It is deep-set and not just an emitted facade.

Humility led me to understand that there would always be people who would deem me inferior(not that there clouded judgement mattered at all but only my perception of their thoughts did),there would always be people who looked better than me and even those who had more than what I did.

What humility din’t teach me however is that if I was born without then I was doomed to stay the same always.It taught me that lack was a way to trust God in His purpose and strength to provide if I heeded to His call,if I thought better of others and treated them with care.That if I went out and put in work trusting God wanted the best for me then He would sure bless the works of my hands.

So trusting that I would be blessed in my efforts I went out and did my best leaning on Him for understanding.Working my way through I came out not top of my class but counted among the best of the cream.Yes that little boy from the bush was blessed and elevated to a point of recognition.

Does the story end there?If I was to narrate the countless times I have failed before,lay down flat on my belly in tears and cried my eyes out there sockets it would bring back the melancholy,the hurt and pains…Still it is a worthy tale as it would take me through the valley of the shadow of death in literal sense.

See this instance for example in the recent past when this new landlord pushes us out of his newly acquired establishment with a month’s notice and on a little dillying and dallying comes with an ingenious idea of drilling massive holes on the celing during a rainy season!

Did I cry or give up?Yes I cried but give up I din’t,taking forcefully from another as I had undergone the same cruelty was and still is out of question.

So,you will ask,what is my secret?Where does my strength lie?What gives me the juice to rise up every morning,fold my sleeves and say,’This is the day that the Lord has made,I will rejoice and be glad in it?” Yes you got the answer right there,God is the reason for my season,whatever I am going through,He is right there with me and has taught me that each day ain’t mine rather He has made it and will provide sufficiently for me.That He has grace enough for every moment that comes and hits my way.

That it doesn’t matter my current state,how bad I feel it is or even how bad it all looks.That there is no luck in life but only His hand in everything I go through.

That I only need to lean on Him and trust in His good,pleasant and most perfect will…..

What is your story?



UNEARTHED PIECES N02 :Sketches of lost thoughts.

Down on the ruminations,my mind goes on a journey my heart cant help but leap on and follow….a dirst filled beautiful ugliness,the creations and enchantments of human doings….At times I pause and laugh at all the stupidity so created in our minds of oblivion,total ignorance and utmost selfishness….

Listening to my ownself i make no sense at all.even in my mind of purity and convinced wisdom…oooh if Solomon still lived how he would stare down at me and chant vanity of vanities…but despite all this journey of self analization ooooh does it ever stop.?as if I would answer my own questions and pauses?oooh I go on in my whiles and criticisms…

Well most times I wonder if the human was meant to be dependent on other’s opinions and acknowledgements for assertions of self-worth….but if not why else would the human strive so much to acquire and attain set standards -if there exists any set limits that is- and the appraisals of fellow mates in the quest for “joy” or is it self-joy and regard?….well maybe it still explains the total cleave of each individual for not only warmth but also regard and a sense of belonging …at times it makes no sense but in reality everything is all netted like a spider web and for all eternity the human is constantly struggling to fit into the same web….often breaking and tearing the embedments…causing chaos and commotions in his wake…

Still all this explains the high degrees of selfishness and the more reason why breaking from this illusion is a necessity despite the difficulty in the same…..

Well my ruminations no they cant stop….in moments of total calm or messed up motions my fingers and mind work as on and so I have to give in to this urge of expression……

Do i really need explain my selfishness anymore???


UNEARTHED PIECES:Sketches of the Glint!

I did not choose to meet you Kare,fate brought me to you,I saw many others before you and on the same day,same location but only you caught my eye out of the same location.

Your intentions could have been wrong but mine were pure.First time in my life I opened up my entire world to you.Maybe only mistake I ever made but the reasons were right.

Forgive me if am weak for being honest,forgive me even more for wanting to see and find the truth,but what is love without honesty?

Well,the problem is not in the mistakes you did,maybe in your shoes I would have done the same.Problem lies deep inside your eyes my heart,for right through your teeth and in self defence you can lie,problem takes route deeper within your eyes and down in your heart.

In your mouth and feelings you might seek revenge but deep down in your beautiful eyes and heart you sure plead for true love.One the ocean is jealous of.

So take a walk with me and for once lay your intentions bare,let our hearts see right through each other.Take a dice with the scalpel and portion this into slices.Let us see that critical mind get through the surface and unveil all the membranes.

The top may lie my love but deep inside lies a passion we both can’t escape.If you let your heart find out the truth and your mind with it join then for once you will find that this doesn’t call for understanding no,it doesn’t even have to make sense.

For once you will see that only in sincerity lies true unmatched love.That you could have cut right through my heart with all your bitter words but at the embrace of your true essence,at the embrace of your true heart,my heart still has this yearning and passion for you my Kare.

I don’t need a reason to love you my lady,I only need you to be there and my heart will learn to hold your’s forever.I love and treasure you.If these be the last words I share,let it know that in my world you are welcome,you and our little prince belong.Non without the other.All a part of my heart.Always.

From my heart to your’s precious.

I love you.


FRIDAY: Sketches of conformation.

It’s Friday

Morning is passed all rushed from Monday

Day ran so fast like it knew the anxiety

The frustrations and realizations borne.

An anxiety that at point in time grew into resignation

Quite a familiar path of abrasion

That almost leads to aberration if not utmost desperation.

Non of that turmoil however counts for now

But as humans we have let this moment thaw

Thaw away all hope that once rooted a show

A show of faith and delight in perseverance

For humanity or rather still humans do away draw

Draw from the path of trust and rust into the hands of the foe

The foe’s hands always wide open

Open with an hunger quite insatiable

Almost hard to pen and quite insane.

So it is Friday as we cross the cross-end

More like a cross-road of self awareness

A loss to self and dive into another

We look so fearless in a grip of oblivion

If only this facade could unveil our true person

And give us to the realms of God’s embrace

In total surrender would we render us to His beautiful face.

Don’t let the cross-road of self destruction bar you

Don’t let the pull of utter regression bore you

Don’t let the sail of common perception define you.

Let His grace always lead you.


GOODNIGHT:-Sketches of surrender.

Reflecting on it now

Nights like this are the best

Not like am in a haste

To even try and predict how

How my tomorrow will taste

Just thanking God for the day past

And closing my eyes in total surrender

That I know not what tomorrow may bring

Not that I may even in it sing

So sing I do now in praise

Praise to the Almighty for His grace

Grace and mercies that He assures to renew tomorrow

What if I woke up in a different city

City where no one was all gritty

Gritty because your presence was kinda edgy

Edgy for it ain’t common place to just let go

Let go and let God lead you in paths only He knew where it led

Led to cuz even this day was all His will.

Still I long to just close my eyes

And let go of all sighs

As I do right within this moment

It total acceptance to His will.


LIVE AND LOVE: Sketches of demise.

It’s all but a gift

Almost comes like a shift

Every second so precious

Every moment so concise

This life that we live

It’s all you do in the moment

That adds up to the quotient

And all you touch to be content

This life that we live

Live it like it’s borrowed

Forgetting about all sorrows

For sorrows depict the burden of tomorrow

Borrowed into the energy of today

Sipping it all out in a sway

And that my friend you can’t harrow.

This life that we live

Always smile in a file

Like it all adds up in a bulk

Bulk your joy like the hulk

Share it out every while

And give a hand with a smile

This life that we live

Let another feel your love

Through the little that you have

Let them sing when you are gone

Always remembering that you gave

For when you give you never crave

This life that we live


COMBINE HARVESTER: Sketches of thrill and neglect.

The chase is beautiful,almost breathtakingly sweat-breaking.The adrenaline and rush of blood is almost intoxicating.Just like the lion sees a prey,plots a chase and implements it so are we.When the chase proves tough we encourage ourselves that what is worth the chase is sure worth the wait .Just like a chess game with the queen upon the heel of all the pawns are we in this chase.We will do anything to topple off the rooks,slender bishops and mighty castles in a never ending game of thrones.The pawns in our wake are collateral damage even if they belonged to us.The sweat broods and true to human nature even this is no detractor to our chase progress.Rather it is the very fuel to our never ending quest to win this board play and be termed if not crowned leader of our crop.The burner of our mantle most often sounds more of a worthy title.

In process of this lion chase of the deer down across the plane,the mind is devoid of the fact that the deer is faster but what is the pleasure in chasing something that is so easy to catch?

Haha,reminds me of hunger games,set the pray and orchestrate the chase for the thrill of blood.Such a sad scenario as we are even encouraged that may the force favour us.

Beautiful words to mar the obscenities and atrocities inhibited or hidden behind the actual intentions of our human games.Well,not to rush ahead of my thoughts,the chase is fun and enjoyable,almost electric.Jeez,thought of same makes my blood rush in a jolt of heat and excitement.

But just before it ends,my mind is panned with a question even I must stop and ponder,in process almost letting my prey escape;if only escape was its fate?Is the catch worth the chase?Or maybe you got a quick yes to this quiz PePa buddy,I could give it a lil twist to your cryptic sleeves and ask,”Is the chase worth the keep?”

Mmh,sure you never thought of that right?evades my hinges too most often if not.

Just like a combine wheat harvester that will both reap the wheat and mill it,are you able to chase the prey and enjoy keeping it?Don’t go on a wild goose chase if the end of it all is the thrill of blood that can’t be satisfied but has to be done over and over to maintain the lithium junk phase.PePa.

My awoken sleep: sketches into the night.

I hear the sirens

I hear the hoots

I hear the far ends

I feel them trot

Motorbike honks

Trailers throts

A dog barks far away

A cat miaows in the hay

Misplaced along the horse’s stray

The noises don’t ease into the night

Just light that fades from within my sight

As fatigue eases out my heart’s plight

Sleep takes over without a fight

As I ease into my slump of midnight’s slumber

A scream jerks me up half drift into my amber

My heart races as I whisper a prayer

The honks and throts vague it out in shear

As I hope and pray the night from the hands of the slayer

The track wheels pound upon the tarmac

With an overweight of load upon the track

Am sure by morning they will leave a mark

Of the pressure and strain that leave behind pain

Deep within the pockets of the ailing tax payer

The same noises of trucks,motorcycles,barking dogs and miaowing cats

Become the lalluby to my insomniac bat

So I resign to fate as nature has made it common

To put up an act and hide the head

Under barrels of sand and leave the body to fade.